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We stopped checking for monsters under our bed when we realized they were inside us.

The greatest trick the devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him.

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody.

Oh yes, there will be blood.

The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door…

I know that if I wasn’t scared,something’s wrong, because the thrill is what’s scary.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’ll be poor.

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.

I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.

I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.

A half truth is a whole lie.

Life’s good, you should get one.