Funny

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet.

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.

Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

Life’s good, you should get one.

A half truth is a whole lie.

I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.