Funny

I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.

I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’ll be poor.

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.

If I ever let my head down it will be just to admire my shoes.

Smile. You’re cute.

Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it’s a friend with chocolate.