Do you know what, I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite…. but I am kind of curious.

Four-leaf clover, make a wish. I wish you weren’t so fuckin’ awkward buddy.

Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.

Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.

What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.

I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.

That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.

Make Sure You Use That There Sunscreen ‘Cause It’s A Great Day For Hay.

I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.

Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.