Sarcastic

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

Life’s good, you should get one.

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.

I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

Find your patience before I lose mine.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.