Sarcastic

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

Life’s good, you should get one.

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet.

Everyone has the right to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege.

People say that laughter is the best medicine…your face must be curing the world.

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.