Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Let’s share…you’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’ll be poor.

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.