Sarcastic

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’ll be poor.

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.

I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

Find your patience before I lose mine.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.